people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
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