I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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