I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
