Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
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I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
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I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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