ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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