YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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