are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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