My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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