Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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