My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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