sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
