Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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