I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
