Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.