Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.