Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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