omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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