Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
