i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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