THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Why are your pants in the freezer?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize