I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
