It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
