Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
