Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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