I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
