TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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