im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
