Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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