well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
