my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
