dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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