I heard we made out
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
