If i come over, it means nothing
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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