Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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