can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize