Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
