i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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