ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
