That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
