I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
