Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize