no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
