Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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