She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize