Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
