let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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