Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
bring money and cleavage
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
