By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
