We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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