Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
