so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
