it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i've created a new STD.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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