Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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