he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
