thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
