I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
