I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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