I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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