It's just like the Real World with babies
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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