I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I supernannyed him into submission
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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