A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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