We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
